CHRISTMAS CLANGERS
CHRISTMAS CLANGERS-- Collected, compiled and cranked out by "The Quipping Queen" for your amusement and delight --As the ho ho ho season rolls around, one is reminded of some very wicked words from a few wise men, a smattering of witty women, and a handful of weird wee folk who wish to remain anonymous."A Merry Christmas to all my friends except two." (W.C. Fields)"I am a poor man, but I would gladly give ten shillings to find out who sent me the insulting Christmas card I received this morning." (George and Weedon Grossmith, The Diary of a Nobody, 1894)"Christmas, that time to of year when people descend into the bunker of the family." (Byron Rogers, Daily Telegraph, 27 December 1993)"There are some people who want to throw their arms round you simply because it is Christmas; there are other people who want to strangle you simply because it is Christmas." (Robert Lynd, "On Christmas," in The Book of This and That, 1915)"Ever since Eve gave Adam the apple, there has been a misunderstanding between the sexes about gifts." (Nan Robertson, "On Christmas shopping", New York Times, 28 November 1957)"George, a camel, stepped on the foot of a Rockette; six sheep came off the elevator as three kings bearing gifts got on; human Christmas trees bumped into eight maids-a-milking at the water cooler and an elf came down with the flu." (William E. Geist, on the day "pandemonium paid a visit backstage" at opening of Radio City Music Hall's Christmas spectacular. New York Times, 29 November 1986)"As if being eighty-five or ninety and terrified and talked down to loudly and pushed around in wheelchairs by the staff all day weren't bad enough, for tonight's entertainment the local Brownies have come to sing Christmas carols....". (Mary Jo Salter, "Brownie Troop #722 Visits the Nursing Home," 1994)"From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it." (Katharine Whitehorn, "The Office Party," in Roundabout, 1962)"At Christmas I no more desire a roseThan wish a snow in May's new-fangled mirth;But like of each thing that in season grows."(William Shakespeare, Love's Labour 's Lost.
Act i. Sc. 1.)"Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year." (P.J. O'Rourke, Modern Manners, 1984)"For a halo up in heavenI have never been too keen.Who needs another gadgetThat a fellow has to clean."(E.Y. Yarburg, The Man who has Everything, 1965)"What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?Answer: Claustrophobic" (Anonymous)HOW TO COOK A CHRISTMAS TURKEYStep 1: Go buy a turkeyStep 2: Take a drink of whiskey (scotch) OR JDStep 3: Put turkey in the ovenStep 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskeyStep 5: Set the degree at 375 ovensStep 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drinkStep 7: Turn oven the onStep 8: Take 4 whisks of drinkyStep 9: Turk the basteyStep 10: Whiskey another bottle of getStep 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometerStep 12: Glass yourself a pour of whiskeyStep 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hoursStep 14: Take the oven out of the turkeyStep 15: Take the oven out of the turkeyStep 16: Floor the turkey up off of the pickStep 17: Turk the carveyStep 18: Get yourself another scottle of botchStep 19: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey(Anonymous).
Production Update for 2005
The Motion Picture Co. Inc. are securing locations for "Leroy's Christmas" . The true heart warming story, about two DJ's in a small rural town find the true meaning of Christmas through a dying child's last wish. Exterior production must be completed before March, interior production can be completed at a later date.
"Locations must have lots of snow, its critical to the story line" Chairman, John Cummings, commented. "Our Production Team hope to close on a network placement of "Leroy's Christmas" in January, prior to the annual National Association of Television Program Executives (NATPE) conference in Las Vegas" Cummings said. This will be MPC's first High Definition production using the latest cameras developed by Panasonic. "We've been attending seminars with industry colleagues, learning everything we can to make the "look" a success, the story is already a winner, if the look is there our audiences will be very pleased", Cummings added. Also on next years slate will be...
Production Update for 2005
Christmas > Production Update for 2005
Anytime Costume Introduces How To Buy a Santa Claus Suit Costume for Both Adults and Children
(ContentDesk) December 13, 2005 -- How a consumer is going to use their Santa Suit will affect how much wear and tear the costume must withstand and how realistic the Santa Costume needs to look. A consumer's budget on the other hand, may ultimately determine which Santa Claus Costume they buy.Generally speaking, the higher the price, the higher the quality of the fabric and other materials used to make the Santa Suit. A Santa Suit with a pullover jacket will be less expensive than one with a Zipper Jacket. Nevertheless, a Santa Claus Suit with a Zipper Jacket will be easier to put on and take off, especially if a Santa Belly is used. Another point to keep in mind is some Santa Costumes come with a Santa beard and wig set.
However, most high-end and deluxe quality Santa suits and Santa Costumes require the wig and beard set be purchased separately. For more information visit: www.anytimecostumes.com/costumes/ss.htmlAbout...
Anytime Costume Introduces How To Buy a Santa Claus Suit Costume for Both Adults and Children
Christmas > Anytime Costume Introduces How To Buy a Santa Claus Suit Costume for Both Adults and Children
Diamond Earrings That will Dazzle Your Ears
(ContentDesk) January 19, 2006 -- Diamond Jewelry Company ShopSmartAlways announced today the introduction of their exclusive line of princess-cut diamond stud earrings. The new arrivals will dazzle your wallet as much as they dazzle your ears and are available through their online jewelry store http://www.shopsmartalways.comShop Smart Always Princess cut diamond earrings shine with the utmost brilliance. Featured in a 4 prong white...
diamond CHRISTMAS CLANGERS
Christmas > Diamond Earrings That will Dazzle Your Ears
potty training CHRISTMAS CLANGERS Christmas
Armchair Millionaire Community Bulletin: You Don't Have to Be Rich to Live Rich
Interesting work by Richard Easterlin, an economic historian at UCLA, found that even though the gross domestic product per capita in the U.S. has more than doubled in the last 50 years, there has been virtually no change in the percentage of people who call themselves happy. In other words, a lot more wealth hasn't given us any more happiness. I'd also assert that more income won't necessarily provide you with financial security, either. Whether they are conscious about it or not, many people...
CHRISTMAS CLANGERS ira Armchair Millionaire Community Bulletin: You Don't Have to Be Rich to Live Rich
Christmas > Armchair Millionaire Community Bulletin: You Don't Have to Be Rich to Live Rich
CHRISTMAS CLANGERS ira Christmas
vacuum CHRISTMAS CLANGERS Christmas
SnapStream Media Announces Support for Market-Leading Digital / HDTV Tuner Cards from ATI Technologies, AVerMedia?, and DViCO
(ContentDesk) November 10, 2005 -- SnapStream Media, Inc. a leader in digital home entertainment products, announced today that Beyond TV 4 offers official compatibility with digital ATSC tuner cards manufactured by market-leading TV tuner card manufacturers including ATI Technologies Inc. (TSX: ATY, NASDAQ: ATYT), AVerMedia, and DViCO.Official compatibility means that users of ATI, AVerMedia Technology, and DVICO TV tuner cards can confidently assemble PC-based DVRs with SnapStreams award...
SnapStream Media Announces Support for Market-Leading Digital / HDTV Tuner Cards from ATI Technologies, AVerMedia?, and DViCO CHRISTMAS CLANGERS hdtv
Christmas > SnapStream Media Announces Support for Market-Leading Digital / HDTV Tuner Cards from ATI Technologies, AVerMedia?, and DViCO